Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Election Day Complaints

Here is my list of perfectly valid things to complain about on election day:

1. Voter suppression tactics
2. Facebook Comments
3. Assholes wearing American flag t-shirts
4. Having to work and go to school because Election Day SHOULD be a national holiday, but it's NOT
5. Mitt Romney killed my parents, and is an Alien from Outer Space
6. Roommate Sarah says that Mitt Romney is also responsible for her broken foot. He also clearly does not have a mustache. And he is one of the four horsemen of the Apocalypse.
7. Referring to #6- All these wacky Christian types assuming that *they* and their friends would be the ones to recognize the Anti-Christ, and that they would of course not be fooled by the Anti-Christ unlike everyone else. While I happen to believe that much, if not most, of Christianity itself is pure fantasy (or science fiction, perhaps? Doesn't "God" live in the sky? That is where the aliens come from...), this particular fantasy is akin to the fantasy that everyone has about being one in a small band of survivors during the Zombie Apocalypse. Of Course you and a few of your friends survived! Duh! 'Cause the actual survivors wouldn't be people who knew a lot about subsistence farming- they would be you and your one friend that likes to go camping sometimes and once saw a mountain lion. You know- survivors. Perhaps this is more of an everyday complaint, after all...
8. The possible erosion of our basic rights under a Romney administration
9. I miss the days when you could safely vote for a candidate based on how funny, weird or entertaining their name was. Idaho still does this. Their governor is named (waaaaait for it... not kidding around here... this is for realz!) Butch Otter. If you will kindly follow the link, you'll find ol' Butch situated in the upper right corner, his woman tucked safely into his crotch. A Man. If this was 1988 and I wasn't 7 years old, I'd totally vote Butch.
10. The last complaint of the Election Day- namely, not enough people are registering official complaints! What, nothing to complain about? Seriously? Can I come live where you live, 'cause it must be nice. No complaints!

What a bunch of jerks.

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